Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The original Bean bartender: my brother, Jimmy.

My brother Jimmy was a bartender for a while after college. He worked at his in-law's bar in Philadelphia: Murphy's Tavern at 44th and Spruce. My brother and I have shared about 3 words via email our whole lives. Less on the phone. He's seven years older and a world away; entrenched in a very complicated life as a father and grandfather in Philly. (Sorry to put you on blast, Jim.) But my new job and this blog has opened up a whole new line of communication. (See his comments under my "Correction" entry.)

Here's what he had to say about my new job:

If I ever get back out to the left coast I'll stop by and offer my critique
based on over twenty years of serving every type of spoiled rich kid, dirtball neighborhood crumbs, under sexed middle ages delinquents, would-be singer/songwriter legends, street corner denizens, pompous products of the ivy-league, wanna-be bikers, as well as various other ne'er do wells and numbnuts.

Three suggested last call lines to move the toads out of your bar when you want to leave (supplied by one Joseph Murphy retired proprietor of the world famous Murphy's Tavern)

1. "Speed on before you get peed on!"
2. "Off the streets and into the sheets!"
3. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here"! (Stolen, without royalties, by Semi-Sonic in "Closing Time")

Bonus for those still nursing that last call drink
"Suck up and get a red nose!"

Last words as they pass out your door
"See you in church"

Pretty good for a grandpa, huh? Now if I could only find a picture of him so you could see how young a grandfather can be.


rustyboy said...

This. Is. Brilliant.

Julie said...

Isn't it? I'ma loving it.