Brandy Alexander Part 2

I was reminded by Michelle's friend Pam of where I first heard of a Brandy Alexander -- The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

I tried to find a clip of the scene on You Tube but 20th Century Fox has pulled all clips from the site. (Something I think all companies will start doing thus making us pay for clips in the future which is another reason why writers should strike. But I digress.)

So here's a picture of the greatest cast of the greatest show EVER followed by a transcript of the scene. Lou: Look, miss, I was just about to have a drink and I wouldn't mind some company. Want one?
Mary: No, thank you.
Lou: I said I wouldn't mind some company!
Mary: Well, all right. I'll have a Brandy Alexander.
Lou (dumbfounded): How 'bout some coffee?


And just for fun, the greatest scene ever written:

Mary: Has the job been filled?
Lou: Yeah.
Mary: Oh.
Lou: But there is another job.
Mary: Oh?
Lou: I figured I'd hire a man for it.
Mary: Oh.
Lou: We can talk about it.
Mary: Well good.
Lou: How old are you?
Mary: Thirty.
Lou: No hedging! No 'how old do I look'?
Mary (smiles and shrugs her shoulders): Why hedge?
Lou: Yeah.
Mary: How old do I look?
Lou (pauses): Thirty. (opens booze bottle in his desk drawer) What religion are you?
Mary: Uh, Mr. Grant, I don't quite know how to say this, but, uh, you're not allowed to ask that when someone's applying for a job. It's against the law.
Lou: Wanna call a cop?
Mary (sweetly): No.
Lou: Good! Would you think I was violating your civil rights if I asked if you're married?
Mary: Presbyterian. (Lou stares at her.) Uh, well I, I, I decided I would answer your religion question.
Lou: Divorced?
Mary: No.
Lou: Never married!
Mary: No.
Lou: Why?
Mary: Why?
Lou: Do you type?
Mary: Mr. Grant, there's no simple answer to that question!
Lou: Yes there is! How 'bout 'no I can't type' or 'yes I can'?
Mary: There's no simple answer to why a person isn't married.
Lou: How many reasons can there be?
Mary (nervously): 65.
Lou (exasperated): Words per minute. My typing question!!
Mary: Yes.
Lou (gets up off his chair): Look miss! Would you try answering the questions as I ask them?
Mary (stands up): Yes, Mr. Grant, I will, but it does seem that you've been asking a lot of very personal questions that don't have a thing to do with my qualifications for this job.

If I could write like that I wouldn't need 10 milligrams of Adderall every time I sit down to write a script. And I wouldn't waste the first half hour of my Adderall induced concentration posting to my blog. Oh well.