Vito Check In

Michael Udesky took this picture on Wednesday night. I like it for two reasons: I just had my hair did and I'm holding the shaker just right - making me look skinnier than I actually am.

I'm going in tonight for my third night in a row. Last night things got pretty raucous at the bar. The Lakers/Celtics game was on the tiny TV behind the bar directly above the cooler which holds all the martini glasses that I always seem to need at pivotal points in the game. Being that it was a very intense game 3, the noise level was at an all time high. With about 2 minutes left in the game, the TV shut off. Naturally everyone starts screaming at me like I did something. I looked around for the remote but couldn't find it. Finally, George, the lovable but extremely gruff waiter, comes behind the bar with the remote and says in a very thick Latino accent, "I want everyone to shut the f*ck up! It's too loud in here and this is a family f*cking restaurant. You don't stop screaming, I turn it off for good! Jesus f*cking Christ!" He then puts the TV back on and walks away.

Good ol' George. A true wordsmith.

A List To Catch Us Up To Speed

Since my last post I:

Have been to New York.
Watched my step daughter play Lacrosse.
Wished I could’ve played Lacrosse.
Cheered step-daughter on in the stands with my husband’s ex-wife in the pouring rain.
Accepted a ride home from ex-wife.
Spend a couple hours lost in car with step-daughter, ex-wife and ex-wife's boyfriend.
Spent $700 to get back to Los Angeles early for a job interview.
Got fired from The Game.
Delayed my trip to Boston for a day to have second interview for job.
Flew to Boston on a three hour delayed red-eye.
Took the water shuttle from airport to downtown Boston - so cool.
Heard rumors that I got hired on new show.
Couldn't get my agent to tell me if I got hired on new show.
Ate at Kelly's Roast Beef.
Got heartburn from the onion rings.
Finally found out I got hired on Project Gary.
Drove to Vermont for Rick the Pickle Man's wedding.
Was told by my husband not to wear the totally unflattering muu-muu (think Maude) to WASPy pre-wedding cook-out barn party.
Cried over being fat.
Cried more over not knowing what to wear to WASPy pre-wedding cook-out barn party.
Sucked it up knowing husband was right.
Attended my first wedding officiated by a female priest.
Partied with my step-kids at reception.
Chatted with my husband’s ex-wife at reception.
Watched my husband deftly avoid all contact with his ex-wife at reception.
Asked ex-wife's boyfriend what he did for a living, didn't understand what he said, finished cupcake and walked away.
Drove Back to Boston.
Was mean to my mother whom love more than anything else in the world.
Walked for miles along the Charles River with my husband. So beautiful.
Flew Back to L.A.
Gave up on losing weight.
Had a two day hangover.
Considered quitting Vito.
Reconsidered quitting Vito.
Had Hagie the dog groomer shave Mabel.
Think I love Mabel more due to her new haircut.
Cut my forehead open stocking Pellegrino at the bar.
Considered quitting Vito again.
Reconsidered quitting Vito again.
Have tried to think of story ideas for new show.
Have decided my head is an empty vessel good for nothing except banging against cabinet doors.
Made this list.

Computer Down

My computer is the shop. I won't have it back until next week. So until them I am stealing time on Sam's computer. Posting will be very sparse. So I guess what I'm trying to say is: there'll be no change at all.

Quickie

I am not weighing in today as I just got back from NYC last night and ate my head off while I was there. I will, however, give a review later of all the restaurants I went to with Paul, the NY Foodie, and of Ivy's lacrosse game.

Weigh In Week 4

0

Holding steady at the 3 pound weight loss. Yes, I would have enjoyed holding steady at the 5 pound weight loss but it just wasn't in the cards.

Working all weekend at Vito has definitely been a challenge to the diet. Between drinking sink slop and eating a bite of everyone's plate, I'm doing unnecessary damage to the diet. A mouthful of Fettuccine Burino here and taste of Veal Meatball there adds up. When it was just Saturday night it I could work off whatever went down the gullet in a couple of days, but 3 nights in a row both weekends has got me behind the big fat 8 ball.

The only thing keeping my spirits up is that I know my body is firming up a bit with my "Walking With Weights" (copyright to come) workout. My upper body feels stronger and tighter. I'm up to 100 reps with the 5 pound weights. It may be time to kick it up to 7 pounds.

Weigh In Week 3

+2.

Yep, you read it right. I just had to rip the band-aid off quick and say it. I'm not too upset by it because I knew the gain was happening last night when I ate nachos made with ground bison (yuck), drank two pomegranate lime margaritas, and a row of Now & Laters. (Still the greatest candy ever made but you have to get the ones made in Mexico not in the US. The US ones are just lame and chewy like taffy the whole time. The Mexico ones are hard and crunch now and soft and chewy later -- the way God intended it.) The worse part of the night came when I finished the Now & Laters and was still hungry. The bison on the nachos tasted gamy to me so I could only eat the outside cheesy bits. So what did I do? I marched downstairs and did the unexplainable -- I made two hot dogs. HOT DOGS??!!! Yep, two delicious, salty Boar's Head hot dogs with all the fixings. I felt sick halfway through the first one and managed a bite of the second before I gave up.

Two pounds is a blessing after reviewing last night's menu. That and the fact that it's lady business time; I feel like I kind of got off easy.

Mapping My Workout

My friend Russ directed me to a website called Map My Run. Just point and click on their map where you went and it tells you how many miles you logged. Delicious.

2.86 miles doesn't seem like a lot but it's all hills. Here's a map for those of you playing along at home.

Working Out For Weigh Ins

I know this matters to no one but me but I feel the need to post my workouts. Inspired by my friend Stacey, I have decided to do all my working out in the outdoors -- without instructors. When you look at how much money a year you spend for spin class or a circuit training class, when there's nothing new you're learning there, it's a stupid investment. The only thing those classes really provide you with is a place to show up to and strangers to work out with. So with that in mind I've been trying to incorporate a new workout regimen into my life. It's easier now that I'm officially done with work. (The Game wrap party is tonight -- whether me or the show get asked back for a third season is in question.)

My latest thing has been to walk the hills of Ocean Park (my Santa Monica neighborhood) with 5 pound weights doing constant reps with my upper body. I did this once along the Charles River with Kitty and could barely move my arms the next day. I know from all my Pilates classes that constant reps with small weights are the way to tone and not build muscle. So knowing that while keeping my heart rate elevates on the hills has turned into my walk into an excellent workout. The only downside is I look like a crazy person. (Pictures to come.)

Yesterday I waled from my house on 2nd Street to 17th Street. Not sure of the mileage -- have to clock it in the car someday. I walked up and down the hills for 1 hour. My heart rate (Yes, I wear a heart rate monitor and there are people out there who hate my attachment to it -- Maura -- but too bad. I love assigning numbers to my workout.) I was "in zone" (meaning not to low, and not too high) for 00:20:57. My average heart rate was 172 ( I used to train for marathons at 155 - 160, so I'm working pretty hard on these hills.). My maximum heart rate was 194 (Yikes, almost died on that one.). And the total number of calories burned for that hour was 782 (Think a bottle of wine.).

All and all a good day.

Weigh In Week 2

To be consistent (and to give myself an extra day to try and shake off the sillies from the weekend), I have moved my weigh -ins to Tuesday. I stepped on the scale this morning to find my self...(drum roll)...

-2 lbs!

That puts the two week total at 5 lbs. Not bad, not bad at all.

Weigh In Week 1

Our guests left at the crack this morning so I was able to weigh in.

-3lbs.

Not bad considering Sam and I took our guests out last night for Mexican food and margaritas. I went easy on the chips knowing I had a showdown with the scale today. However, I didn't fare so well in the margarita battle which continued on after the restaurant in my living room while we played Texas Hold 'Em. But being that I'm at minus 3, I can't complain. In fact, I'll drink to that!

Weigh In Postponed

I'm not trying to dodge the weigh-in, it's just we have guests staying with us and the scale is in their bathroom. They leave tomorrow so I hop on then.

Overall I think I've had a decent week. I ate well, I worked out some but, man oh man, did I fall off the wagon over the weekend. Maura and I went to Vegas and you know how they say, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Well, that's true. Except for the bloat you put on while sitting by the pool all day drinking mojitos and eating nachos. I'm pretty sure that weight comes home from Vegas with you. We'll find out tomorrow.

One Reason To Love L.A.

It was absolutely gorgeous here this weekend. I think it was 90 degrees at the beach. On Saturday morning, I couldn't find my spin shoes and by the time I did, it was too late to go to Spin class. So I decided to get on my bike and do it the old fashioned way.

I needed to replicate the awesome work-out I get when I spin so just sticking to the bike path wasn't going to work. (On a beautiful weekend every weekend warrior asshole and his kid is out there swerving all over the place -- dangerous and annoying.) I decided to take the path up to Temescal Canyon and figure it out from there.

I took a right at the first light on Temescal and made my way through the Pacific Palisades. I was unfamiliar with the neighborhood but knew if I stuck to making only rights I would be nearest to the streets that hang over the PCH and the ocean. This is what I found:
And that's taken with my cell phone! Just when you think you've had enough of Los Angeles you find a little gem of a bike ride like the one I found on Saturday. So beautiful.

Maximum Density

I'm at it. For real. I have been living in the fast lane, burning candles at both ends for too long. I'm not taking proper care of myself and it shows. Big time. I'm going to be 40 in 9 months and there is no way I'm going to be fat and forty.

I had this idea in December to do a project here on the blog called "12 to 40." For twelve months I would document my progress of trying to get in decent shape by the time I turned 40. Pictures and all. Then I realized that posting pictures of myself in my underwear is something no one wants to see. Especially now. I will, however, track my progress at trying to lose twenty pounds here without pictures.

I've found that the only way I succeed at losing weight is when I am accountable somewhere - weighing in once a week sucks but it works. So last night, I put new batteries in the scale, took my head out of the sand and saw the truth. HORRIFYING!

Starting today, each and every Monday I will post my loss or, God forbid, my gain.

And no, I'm not posting my starting weight. But if you need to get an idea, just go out and weigh the nearest trash dumpster. It's about the same. Wish me luck.

Best Toast Ever!

The ceremony was, as Al said in his comment, legendary, but the toast given by Nate was truly the highlight of the evening. Spider caught most of it.

The Best Wedding Ever!

Seriously, it was. I didn't have a videographer (is that a word?) at our wedding. Had I known what Maura had in store for us, I might have wanted to capture it on film because our wedding has gone down in history as the funniest ceremony ever. In fact, it was ripped off by a famous showrunner when he officiated a ceremony months later. We know he ripped it off because he did exactly what Maura did and that groom's brother was a guest at our wedding. No hard feelings. Anymore.

Spider caught what he could on his camera. Here you go.

Happy Anniversary, Husband!

Today is Sam's and my wedding anniversary. Apparently, flowers are the proper gift for a 4th anniversary because they represent the blossoming partnership as a couple. Blossoming, just blossoming?! What the hell's been going on for the past 4 years then? A loose association? Is it in full bloom in 8 years and then falls off and dies? I don't like the sound of any of this so I think I'll stick to normal presents that mean something to me. Like the Major League Baseball package on Direct TV. Now Sam can watch all 100+ Red Sox games. And if you know Sam, you know the one thing he really loves is sports. Sports!

We are very lucky to be remembered by our parents on our special day. My mother hooked us up with a lovely bouquet. Look:

While Vard and Ruth laced us with some green for a fancy dinner. Awesome.

It's gonna be a good day.

April Fool's Day

Do people still "do" April Fool's Day? I always hated this day. I was never clever enough to come up with something good and always afraid of falling for something stupid. Only once was I impressed by an April Fool's trick.

The trick was played on the Keating twins who were my classmates from 4th to 8th grade at St. Catherine's. Their mother was super cool. I think she had 5 boys. She was often lunch-mother for our class and never raised her voice (unlike my grandmother who was a lunch-mother and never stopped screaming at us). Anyway the twins were notorious for having the best snacks and desserts. To trade with one of the Keating boys you had to be holding something pretty great. One year, Mrs. Keating packed the regular awesome lunch for the her boys -- pb & j's with Oreo cookie chasers. Unbeknownst to them, Mrs. K had scraped out all the creamy filling of the twins' cookies and replaced it with toothpaste. The twins bit in and nearly puked. So cool.

Another TV Debut

Seems Prince Bunny Rabbit Tricks Are For Kids Bean Johnson Esquire is not the only Bean getting into show business. My brother Chris has been working the ropes, literally, at the Winchester Community Theater's production of Peter Pan. Apparently the people behind the scenes wanted to blow it all out this year and actually have Peter fly. It's great in theory until you realize some poor bastard has to be behind the scenes to make those little f*ckers fly. Here are the backstage magicians being interviewed. (It's 40 seconds in.)
Please note that it is a huge HUGE deal to be interviewed by Joyce Kulhawik. Or as Kay would call her Joycekul Hawik. Either way works.

Bunny's TV Debut

It's been a big week here on The Game. First with The Six Million Dollar Man and now with Bunny making his screen debut. He and I will be "atmosphere" in the exterior street scene we are shooting tonight.

Bunny has been very patient. His call time was 10am and his won't shoot his scene until 8pm tonight.

He waited in my office all day.

If anyone gets any crazy emails from me, you'll know who was messing around on my computer.

Easter '08

Every year for about the past 4 or 5 years Sam & I have spend Easter with the Groels. We did so again this year and, as always, it was awesome. Delicious food, terrific cocktails, an Easter egg hunt -- all of it a blast. This year the Easter egg hunt was a little easier than usual only because we really only had one kid hunting. And he was 19 months old. Basically we just threw the eggs in a pile on the ground under the kid's nose. He was awful cute picking up the eggs, opening them and handing me the chocolate inside. (Good boy.)

I did however miss what sounds like a stupendous Easter in Boston. Along with all the usual suspects: Chris, Colleen, Devin, Hayden, Larry, Garret and Samantha; were Jimmy, his wife Cathy, their granddaughter Alexis and a couple of dogs. (Michelle was in New York again so she missed out. Please click on the link to your right named Scenes From A Notebook to read about her adventures in NYC.) It sounded like chaos when I called. The best kind of chaos. People crammed into my mother's tiny kitchen trying to help her prepare while they get a load on. Good times.

Here's a picture of my nieces Samantha and Devin and my great niece Alexis. (GREAT NIECE?! You got to be f*cking kidding me.)
It seems impossible that these three girls are related, doesn't it? I love that Alexis wants no part of that hat. She's all, "You can drag my little butt all the way up here to Boston but don't be clowning me with your silly lids." I so wish I was there to meet her.